Is there ever a time when you read what you wrote down in the past and say to yourself: Did I write that? Was that me?

That is what has happened to me recently. I stopped updating my blog for 4 months straight, and when I opened it up, everything felt strange to me. The tags I put on my home page can't really fully describe me anymore, and the posts I published in the past feels remote as if they had been written by someone else, someone with deeper but also darker thoughts. I was constantly struck with anxious thoughts about whether I would be able to perform well at my job in front of my supervisor and with gloomy desperation that I wasn't able to get out of bed the next morning. I cried and I cried and I cried even more. I called my friends. I went to the hospital. I doubted my every step of the way: Am I doing the right thing? Did I choose the right path to give up going to graduate school? Am I getting better at doing my job? Will I ever get better? Will things ever get better?

Yes. You love your job right now: One student got a 25 out of 30 in The TOEFL speaking section because of you. Kids loved your classes because they trust you so much they want to tell you things they don't dare talk to their parents about. Your supervisor saw your teaching plans and appraised just how hardworking you were for the last 5 months.

Yes. You have been working out consistently. You visited Japan for 4 days (and met someone from Discord at the airport.) You have been reading more books about cognitive behavioral therapy and UNIQLO magazines. You started playing Minecraft and finished 4 seasons of "Friends".

"Did I write that? Was that me?" Yes, that was you. Glad you survived.